Friday, November 17, 2006

Jokes with real facts..

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?

In a divorce court a woman requested the judge:
"Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked the judge.
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know ?"
She replied, "My lord, not a single child
resembles him."

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife
and said, "One month after I die I want you to
marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy !"
"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years
so let him suffer now."

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger? "
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong

Husband & Wife - Why?
"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax
to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got
into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.
"Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said,
"Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said,
"When we were first married, I would come home
from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and
our cute little dog would run around barking. Now
after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog
brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still
getting the same service!"

Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another: "My neighbor is always
speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my
husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I
ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention
to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that
couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every
time they meet. Why don't you do that?"
"I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't
know her well enough."

Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is
infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children
and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."
One of his friends asked." And when you are angry,
what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the
windows and doors of the house and none of them
dares to answer back.

Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her
husband always came home late, no matter how she
tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what
I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock
in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is
that you, Jim?" And that cured him.
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's
your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it


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